The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon

Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends

One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: If you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST.

Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places?

A great way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much...

On a diet? Go to the paint store - you can get thinner there

When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.

When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.

Foods that have the same colour have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.  Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour.

Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS!